Unlocking Your Inner Glow | Time to Reinvent Yourself and See Single Life Differently | Episode 33

Speaker A: 00:00:01

Spring is the best time to internally reinvent yourself. Welcome back. Or welcome, if you're new here, to all about being single. I'm your host, Wioleta, and I'm happy that you're here.

So your experience of being single isn't only about your circumstances. It's also about your identity and your mindset. And. And it is springtime, the beginning of, well, not really the beginning, but it is springtime.

And springtime allows us to have our fresh starts, you know, so maybe we can focus on less thinking negative thoughts about the single era. You know, it helps us with energy shifts and getting out of winter mode. Your life can reflect the identity, the identity that you're operating from.

And my focus usually in this time is just that internal rebrand in a sense.

So, you know, we can focus on letting go of winter habits, hibernation and as low energy and maybe possibly a little bit more of isolation for those of us who don't do much during winter time.

If you live in a place where there's an actual winter spring cleaning, your space, I think is always a positive thing too, you know, so your apartment, your condo, your house, maybe getting flowers or new plants in your house. You can focus on a mindset reset, saying yes to a couple of things that you've never done before. You can refresh your style.

For example, I've been looking for a new wardrobe recently, but I think it also just allows you to like, wake yourself back up in a sense.

You know, if your internal narrative of this part of your life, being single has been negative, this is a good time to turn that a little bit sideways. What are you telling yourself about being single? It matters what you actually tell yourself about it.

If you're saying that everybody else is ahead of you, if everyone else's life is better because they have someone, you know, that you're all alone, that dating sucks, that you're running out of time, these internal dialogues are negative. Your experiences will most likely be negative too. So I do have a reframe for you.

You know, you can always say that you have the time now to build a life that you actually enjoy. If you believe that dating apps suck, you can find different ways to date, for example too.

Like going to singles mixers or speed dating or just going out and about in your neighborhood. This is also a time to raise your internal standards. And not just dating standards, like actual internal, your life standards.

You know, most people focus on what they want in a partner, and you can flip it inward at this time. How do you treat your Own time. What do you tolerate in your life? Your standards shouldn't just apply to who you date.

They should apply to how you spend your own time. Identity shifts. This is a good time for identity shifts, you know, so stop seeing yourself as someone who is single.

Start seeing yourself as someone with a full life who is currently single. Being single is just a relationship status. It's not your whole identity. Romanticize your own life first.

People wait for a relationship to feel excitement, but you don't have to. You can do exciting things now. Your life is happening right now. You can create. You can shift and create moments.

Now learn to enjoy your own company by doing exciting things by yourself. Not just, just the boring life stuff. You know, dress up for no reason, take a solo vacation, go to shows by yourself.

You know, this can trickle down to making normal days feel intentional. You're not waiting for a life, you're already living in it, so might as well start acting like it.

This is also a good time to detach your worth from your relationship status. You don't become more valuable when someone chooses you. You're worthy of love now, today, and it's okay to give it to yourself first.

I know it's a different kind of love than a romantic love, so I will not be sitting here and telling you to love yourself and that that's how you're going to get into relationship. I'm just saying that once you do love yourself, your single life has a whole different underlying theme to it.

I've been where you are and I've definitely been upset when people will tell me, oh, just love yourself first. You know, maybe you don't love yourself. And that's again, that's not at all what I'm trying to say.

And a hill I'll die on is that the first step of change is just reinventing how you see yourself and your entire single life can change with that reinvention. And my no like to stand on is those who tell us to just love ourselves when they've never spent time alone in their adult life.

Especially because I bet you chances are they don't love themselves. I really want to hear from more of you as far as like what I can change about this podcast.

I do want to make sure that I am including some of your thoughts and you know, maybe changing some of the state some of the segments around based on your thoughts. So if you have any thoughts on how I can improve the podcast, let me know.

Please email me at all about being singlemail.com okay, so our note to Self. And if you're new here, this is when I ask you a question for you to just to ponder on. Maybe write it down. Maybe say it out loud to yourself.

Maybe just think about it. Maybe don't do anything with it at all if you don't want to.

But then I do a little break because I dance every day and this is one of my daily dances. So I'll give you a little 30 second break. You'll hear the music I'm dancing to and then I'll come back and we'll finish the episode.

Well, the best part of the episode is at the end. So the glow up. So stay. So stick around for the glow up. But here's your note to self. Who do you want to be in this season of your life?

Decide who you are with. Being single is a part of it, not all of it, and make it empowering and actionable, you know?

So for example, maybe you want to be confident for this week. Just decide. You don't even have to do anything else about it. Just decide. Write it down someplace. Okay, I'm back from my little break.

So as far as our note to self, for me, I want to be more intentional with where I expend my energy. I think I sometimes use up my energy on things that don't matter.

And I'm really trying to do a better job of prioritizing the things that really do matter and the way I feel that actually matters and has a difference in my life. And, you know, maybe not spending as much energy on trivial things that don't even matter at the end of the day.

Like people's perceptions of me, you know?

Cause there's so many goals that I have that I want to achieve and I won't be able to achieve them if I'm using so much of my energy on things that don't matter at the end of the day. If this episode resonates with you, please take a moment right now and just share it with somebody that you know. That might also resonate with this.

Okay? And then the glow up, the best part of the episode.

And I know this whole episode has basically been a glow up episode, but I'm gonna leave you with this last little tip. Because it is spring, I always believe in bringing new energy into the home for spring and getting rid of the old energy that's in the home.

Not saying that the energy might be bad, but just saying it's always nice. That's kind of the whole point of spring. Not kind of the whole point. That's what I believe. But anyhow, get rid of the old. Allow the new to come in.

So maybe clean your windows in and out, air the house out, donate clothes you no longer need or that don't fit you anymore. And I know that's hard for us women, especially if we've gained weight, but I truly believe you'll feel lighter inside by doing that.

These seem like they're kind of like these external changes, but they're actually going to help you with some internal changes. That's it for today. Thanks so much for tuning in. I truly appreciate you being a supporter, as always. Even if we're late, we're right on time.

I hope you have a good rest of your day, and I'll talk to you next Tuesday. Sam.