Solo Travel: The Myths and Misconceptions

Speaker A: 00:00:02

What are some lies that society at large, or even we ourselves tell ourselves about solo travel? Welcome back to all about being single or welcome if you're new here. I'm Wioleta, your host. I'm happy that you're here.

So last episode, we talked about how solo travel can be both empowering and lonely at times, how it can be both independent and exhausting.

And that duality is part of why I truly believe that solo travel just builds you so much as a human and that you truly haven't lived until you have done solo travel. So during this episode, I want to talk about some, like, travel, solo travel, false truths.

Again, I'm so used to, like, solo travel or other kinds of travel. To me, it's all travel. So if I say travel throughout this episode, I truly mean solo travel. But again, to me, they're both one and the same.

I don't always have to say, oh, I'm doing solo travel. It just means I'm just. I'm traveling. So for me, I'm just so used to just saying I'm traveling.

Actually, when I booked my very last trip, when I called one of my friends, we were talking about other stuff, but then I mentioned how I'm taking this trip, and right away she was like, oh, who are you going with?

And I think that's a false truth about travel, because I feel like when people are mentioning a trip, most people believe that they're going with somebody else. And I think that's ridiculous. Like, we don't need to be going with other people. We can go by ourselves. And it's, again, amazing to go by yourself.

And so I definitely believe that there's, like, the societal expectation or belief that traveling is done with other people. And I'm not saying anything bad about what she asked. I'm just pointing out exactly what society at large believes about travel.

Okay, so let's talk about some other false truths about solo travel. The need to be brave to travel solo. We really don't need to, like, be fearless. Like, I.

Even again, now I'm a little nervous to go by myself, but I feel the fear and I do it anyway because I know what's on the other side of that flight is an amazing experience that will make me a better human, that will make me better for me, that will make me better for a possible future partner, that will make me better for my cat. It just improves so many things in my life. You can book the ticket. Scared?

Most people are definitely anxious before their first solo trip, that's for sure. But I think there's always something to be said about moving despite the fear.

I believe some people think they're going to be lonely the entire trip too.

And there again might be times, and there probably will be times when you are going to feel lonely or alone, but it's moments and they get fewer and fewer and in between, the more you travel solo, honestly.

And again, you often, like we talked about last episode, you often meet other solo travelers or solo locals or just other singles in general, and just people more willing to talk because you're by yourself and you're more willing and able to talk to strangers and start those conversations because you're also by yourself. I think there's also this belief that it's only for like super independent people. And I don't think that's true.

You don't have to be hyper independent to travel solo. But I do believe that it will build your independence.

No matter where your independence level travel lies, I don't think you start off confident you become it through these solo trips. Definitely think there's also this belief that for women it's unsafe to travel solo.

And I do believe that you do have to be more aware of your surroundings than men. Yes. And safety is important and there are risks that exist. But I believe that there's risks that exist everywhere and anywhere.

You know, plenty of women, especially nowadays do travel solo, and plenty of women before traveled solo. Um, I think there's ways to figure out how to be safe, how to stay safe. You know, don't put yourself in unsafe situations as much as you can.

You know, maybe limit your drinking or don't do it at all, or any other altered, you know, states of consciousness besides obviously meditation and stuff. You know, don't stay out late, maybe, you know, maybe research where you're traveling to.

Like, there's definitely ways to lower the risks and be more safe. You know, there's only so much you can control, but you are in control of some things to make sure that you are safe.

I think there's also this belief that you'll enjoy traveling more with someone else. And I don't think that's always true. Again, there's a lot of compromise when you're traveling with other people.

And there's a lot of doing stuff that you don't want to be doing when you're traveling with other people.

And there might be some arguments and some mismatched energy and obviously it depends on the dynamic, but there might be some, like, people pleasing and having to deal with people who are so controlling and so like, rigid that it's always my way or the highway with them. And that might be so on the trip. There's also this belief that people will think something is wrong with you if they see you traveling solo.

But also, who the fuck cares what other people think? Unless it's somebody who is super successful, somebody who is already a super happy single, I don't give a fuck, neither should you.

And in general, most people are just so focused on themselves and they don't even notice that you're alone or they admire you and they want to be more like you, or they just don't care.

Or they might be stuck in toxic, abusive relationships so they can't even go out by themselves or cannot even go to dinner by themselves, let alone on a trip by themselves. There's people whose partners ruin them financially and they cannot afford to go on a trip by themselves.

And I hope that those people find the strength and courage to leave because life on the other side of a toxic or abusive relationship is fucking beautiful. And I hope that for them. There's also this belief that you have to go far away for it to count as a solo trip. And it really doesn't have to be.

It can be just like a, you know, short weekend or one night stay to a big metropolitan area by you. Or again, even a half day trip counts. It doesn't have to be like this international, super exotic, Instagram worthy, you know, Bali trip.

Another belief is that it's weird to travel by yourself. And to me the only thing that's weird is never having traveled by yourself. That's fucking odd. That's fucking weird. Or that it's selfish.

And again, wrong again.

You prioritizing your own desires and your needs and wants and dreams and trip plans and vacations, that's a positive thing and it makes you better in connection to other people. I got two more for you. This one I think is a long one.

But like, there's this belief that if you wait, you can go on that trip or that destination with someone like a partner. And maybe you can, maybe not. What if that partner you meet late in life doesn't want to go there?

Or they've already been there a bunch of times or they just don't care about going there. You know, what if it's not a partner, but just like your friends, what if your friends don't want to go?

What if your friends make a plan with you and they cancel last minute and then you also cancel your trip? What if you can't Afford it later on in life? What if you don't have the time later on in life? What if you're not here later on in life?

What if it's going to be years before you're able to go on a trip? If you wait the here is now. Enjoy your life now. Plan the trip now take the plunge.

We don't know what's going to happen two years from now, five years from now. I don't like making five year plans, for example, because I think it's fucking ridiculous asking that question of what's your five year plan?

Who knows? I am a podcaster today and I wasn't a year and a half ago and I didn't even think I'd be a podcaster.

Like, we don't know what's going to happen in life. And thanks for listening to me. Yep. About this stuff.

But yeah, I do truly believe that there's this like, belief that travel is supposed to be done in pairs or groups, that it has to be shared and it doesn't, it doesn't need to be shared. Or you can again share it.

Like when you're on the trip, you can share it with people that you maybe meet on the trip or Last episode, I talked about that trip to New York City, and again, that was my first trip by myself. I went to this beautiful rooftop bar and while I was waiting in line, I actually, this is a good and a bad story.

But while I was waiting in line, I met this girl who's living in Chicago at the time, who was there by herself, who I ended up spending the entire night with. Like, I literally ended up staying at that bar way later into the night. So again, not super safe.

But we both, we both tried getting in elsewhere after we left that place. Met some people just in general, and then we both did take overs and we were, you know, we were fine, obviously, so not necessarily the safest.

But what I'm trying to say is I was planning on just going to this cool rooftop bar by myself and I met somebody who's also single and also there. So that's the kind of experiences that you get to have and just meet different kinds of people.

And the thing about not traveling with other people is it gives you more of these kinds of opportunities.

And even if you don't talk to anybody else on an entire trip, which I doubt is going to be true, you can still document everything by yourself, especially with the phones that we have now. Right. And we have access to selfies and tripods. You're fine. You can still go on the trip like we are living in a great time.

If I missed anything that you think is important that you have either believed or you know other people believe that's a false truth about solo travel and please send it to me in a voicemail@allabout being single.com I'd love to be able to include your voice note in a future episode.

Also, if you have not subscribed or followed this show yet, please do so so you don't miss any future episodes and the next few episodes are going to be part of this miniseries on solo travel.

Super exciting to share the rest of what I have to share with you, but let's finish this episode so my never again is never again will I not go travel somewhere because I have no one my life who wants to travel there with me. I'm just not going to do that.

If I want to go someplace, I'm going, I'm going, I deserve to go and I love traveling and it's so fun to go travel by yourself. And a hill I'll die on is that traveling solo is the absolute biggest confidence builder there is and also a good character builder too.

We're going to skip the no length to stand on because nobody that has never traveled by themselves has any leg to stand on about anything. They mentioned to you about solo travel, so I guess that was my no like to stand on. Let's get to the note to self.

So if you're tuning in for the very first time, this is something that I ask you to reflect on about your life.

Write it down, journal it, maybe say it in a voice note to yourself or even again send it to me at all about being single.com but basically ponder on this question. I'll do a 30 second or so mini break where I dance because I believe in dancing every day and that'll give you some time to think about it.

Or if you'd rather just dance along with me and then come back to this question later. So here's the question. Which of these false truths or again, something I maybe haven't even covered has been preventing you from traveling solo?

It's all about you, no matter what the others say. For now I'm done talking the lights on me. I tell you. I guarantee this. Nice. Okay, I'm back.

So for me I've been wanting to go to Greece, but it's something that seems like it's for kind of when couples go or for when I'm coupled up. But again, I don't know when I'M going to be coupled up again. If I'm going to be coupled up again and I know I just need to book it.

So that's my: 2027

So this week, just write down one limiting belief, like a fear that you've believed about solo travel or even just about doing things by yourself. It doesn't have to be necessarily solo travel, but just something that might actually be false.

And write down one small action you can do this week to nudge you toward changing that belief. So, for example, maybe you've believed that you can't figure things out on your own.

So maybe plan one small errand or DIY something and just attempt it.

Or maybe you think you'll look awkward eating alone at a restaurant and your action for that might be just go to a cafe, you know, and stay for 30 minutes, eat a bakery treat. Or maybe you've believed that you'll get bored and lonely if you go someplace by yourself.

So maybe what you could do is go to a museum alone and just be fully present and see if that happens. That's it for today. A little bit shorter than last week's. And I I still have so much more information to give you about solo travel.

So we'll be doing that over the next few episodes. And I'm super excited if this episode resonated with you.

Please take a quick moment to just share this episode with somebody that you know who's single that might benefit from it as well. I truly appreciate you listening and I truly appreciate you sharing with a friend. I will talk to you next Tuesday.

And as always, remember, even if we're late, we're right on time.