Lack of Motivation Because I'm Single | How Accountability Can Make Single Life Easier | Episode 53
Ever feel like you’re a bit more productive when someone else is counting on you? Well, that’s the crux of our chat today! We dive into the ups and downs of single life, where the freedom to do whatever you want can sometimes feel a bit like a double-edged sword. When you're flying solo, the motivation to whip up dinner or hit the gym can feel like pulling teeth—especially when there’s no one around to keep you accountable. I share some personal stories and clever tips on how to find that external push, whether it's through workout buddies or even a cleaning playlist. So, let’s explore how we can make this single life not just manageable, but enjoyable!
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In a world where being single is often painted as a carefree party, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. I dive into the nitty-gritty of living alone and the unique challenges it brings, especially when it comes to accountability. You know that feeling when you’re at home and the fridge is just a few steps away, but that bag of chips is calling your name louder than your gym shoes? Yeah, that’s the reality of being single. When there's no one around to nudge you to hit the gym or whip up a healthy dinner, it’s all too easy to let the motivation slip away. I reflect on how living alone means every single decision becomes a negotiation with yourself. Should I cook for one? Is it worth it? Or should I just order takeout and call it a day? Let’s be real, it’s much easier to stick to a routine when you have a partner in crime to share the load — and the pizza. But hey, it’s not all doom and gloom! There’s a certain freedom in being single that can be liberating. You can dance like no one’s watching (because, well, no one is!) and binge-watch your favorite shows without sharing the remote. However, I invite my listeners to consider how we might create our own accountability in this solo journey. Maybe it’s finding a workout buddy or starting a dinner party tradition to gather friends. The beauty of social creatures like us is that we thrive on connection, and sometimes that means being a little more intentional about reaching out. After all, cooking for someone else can be way more rewarding than just whipping up a salad for yourself on a Tuesday night. Ultimately, the takeaway? Embrace the single life, but don’t shy away from finding those connections that can help you stay motivated. Whether it’s a friend who shares your fitness goals or a buddy who will cook with you, it can make all the difference in turning mundane tasks into enjoyable moments. So let’s create that accountability together, because we all deserve a little help now and then — even if it’s just to resist the siren call of the snack cabinet!
Transcript
Have you ever noticed that you're way more consistent when someone else is counting on you? Hi, welcome to All About Being Single. Or welcome back if you've been around. I'm Wioleta, your host.
Honestly, I don't think we talk about this part of being single enough. Like, when you live alone, you're single, there's nobody waiting for you to make dinner. Nobody cares if you skip the gym.
Nobody's going to notice if the laundry has been sitting in the dryer for three days. Nobody's going to say, hey, weren't we going to clean the house today? And that sounds incredibly freeing, and it is.
It's so nice that I can do whatever the fuck I want to do in my house or with myself. However, sometimes it also makes everything harder because when you're in a relationship, your life naturally gets a little bit of shared momentum.
You might go to the gym because your partner is going to. You might cook because there are two people eating. You clean because someone else lives there.
And you both have to maintain the space, obviously, as long as you've got a good partner.
If you don't have a partner that helps you with the cooking or the cleaning or whatever it is you know, basically trying to do 50, 50, if you're both working, please get rid of them. What a waste of space and your energy and your time and your effort.
But, yeah, you go grocery shopping because you're responsible for more than just yourself.
So suddenly these things that require so much individual discipline when you're single just become part of the routine of, like, a couple when you're single. Sometimes every single task requires a conversation with your own self and having to push yourself to do those things. Like, do I feel like cooking?
Does it even make sense to do that for one person? Am I gonna save money if I just go purchase something? Does the amount of time I'm spending on cooking, for example, it.
Could that be better spent maybe mowing the lawn? Do we. Do I really need to vacuum? Can I maybe just order or something? Sometimes the answer is yes. Obviously, sometimes the answer is no.
But what I'm trying to say is there's nobody else there to create that little bit of external accountability. And I think this is where single or not single. But people sometimes misunderstand the single life.
You know, they'll say, oh, you have so much freedom, you can do whatever you want. And again, yes, I can do whatever I want. But sometimes I would like somebody else to want something too.
To want something with me, to want to do something with me.
Not because I need someone to manage me, not because I can't take care of myself, but because humans are social creatures, and sometimes it's easier to do hard or boring things when we're doing them alongside someone else and extra hard. If you're like me with a lot of ADHD like, symptoms. And if you ask me, those are all just trauma symptoms.
But that's a convo for another day and probably not this podcast. Back to our regular content now.
So there's a difference between being independent and having to generate 100% of your own motivation a hundred percent of the goddamn fucking time. And just sometimes I'm tired of being my own accountability partner.
Like, it's just tiring to not have someone there, you know, motivating you to do things.
And I'm definitely not even saying this always has to be a partner that you live with, although I think that's honestly the best kind of motivation for that kind of stuff, like going to the gym regularly, especially as you're an adult, unless you live around other people that maybe also want to be doing that. But also, I remember when one of my friends lived by me. This is when I was, like, around 30, and we lived very close to each other.
We were both single. I had just broken up with somebody she was just dating.
But I used to be in the best shape of my life, right, at 30, because we would just work out together.
So I had somebody pushing me, like, I do a lot more things and get a lot more done when I have somebody pushing me basically, to help me get those things done. Motivating me. So a hill I'll die on is that sometimes being single isn't harder because you can't do things alone.
It's harder because you have to motivate yourself to do everything alone.
And the no lack to stand on is people who have somebody who either cooks for them, so, like a partner or maybe helps them with cooking or cleaning, whatever the case might be. It's just. It's just a nicer process when you're cooking with somebody and when you're cooking for other people.
And I think there's studies that talk about how when you make somebody like a sandwich tastes better when somebody else made it for you versus when you make it for yourself. So there's also that. But, yeah, it's like, it's hard to cook for just one, and it's just. It's not as exciting.
So, like, you know people who try to tell you to, oh, you got to eat healthier. Well, when you're single, it's much harder to eat healthier because a have less time, but also it's just so much more pleasurable.
It's more of like a nice routine and it's more of like something like fun to do with another person, like cook the meal, clean it up together, eat together, you know, versus just doing that all for yourself, you know? I love to dance, so I'm going to do a little dance break right now. I hope you dance with me.
There's no note to self this week, but just, just dance with me or just listen to the good vibes and the good be Sam. But at the end of the day, again, for single, we're single, so we gotta deal with it, right?
So, you know, maybe the lesson is try to find some kind of a partner for doing things that you slack on, you know, that you really want to do a better job with.
You know, so maybe if you want to work out consistently, find a workout body or even find somebody else, like another friend who's doing it another town, but maybe motivate each other by texting each other, checking in on each other, whatever the case might be, whatever works for you, you know, maybe if you want to cook more, maybe do more dinner parties, invite friends over for dinner, you know, if you have a hard time getting the house cleaned, maybe put on a cleaning playlist, maybe not a cleaning playlist.
If you don't clean your house as much as you'd like to, maybe just invite people over so that you have a reason to clean or just add another fun habit to it. So like add something else that makes you want to do it. So maybe listen to a podcast.
And sometimes it also feels like someone else is in the room with you when you're listening to a podcast, which is also a positive because the goal isn't to become the kind of person who can do everything alone without ever needing anyone. You know, the goal is to try to make a life as easy as possible while we're single.
And sometimes it's less about I wish I had a partner and more about the annoying truth that having another person in your life can create that built in accountability and that structure and that momentum. So sometimes we gotta go out and try to find it ourselves. You know, I love me. Glow up.
And so the glow up for this week is figure out some activity that you really know you would do a much better job at being more consistent in if you had a partner to do it with and try to find that partner, you know, try to think of some of your friends that might want to be interested in kind of partnering up with you and helping you get that momentum going, even if they're not doing the thing themselves, but hopefully somebody who's also wanting to do that thing themselves too. Please take a moment to rate and review this show.
It means a lot to me that you're listening, and it would mean even more if you could mention some of the things you've learned and liked about this video podcast. I really want this podcast to reach more people and for it to help others as much as it's helped me. Thanks so much for listening as always.
Even if we're late, we are right on time. Thanks so much for listening and I will talk to you next Tuesday. Myself.
