How Can a Daily Gratitude Practice Improve My Single Life? | Episode 60
A daily gratitude practice can genuinely change your life — seriously, it's the simplest habit that's shifted how I feel about being single. I talk about how easy it is to get sucked into comparison (thanks, Instagram) and how intentionally noticing what we already have helps reframe that sting of missing out. We celebrate the big wins — a career you built, tight friendships, travel freedom, personal growth — and the tiny delights too, like a warm cup of coffee, your cat burrowing into your lap, or the way sunlight hits your face on a walk. My practical takeaways: try naming five things a day (out loud if writing feels like a chore), get specific about why you're grateful, and even do it in the moment instead of saving it for later. Remember, we can't make someone want to be with us, but we can choose what we focus on — gratitude gives us that tiny bit of control back. Take the "glow up" challenge with me this week, send me your lists if you want, and know it's never too late to start noticing the good.
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Gratitude is the tiny secret weapon we low-key forget when single life starts feeling like a glitch in the matrix. I walk you through how a simple daily gratitude practice rewired my perception — not by magicking a partner into existence, but by turning my attention to what’s actually going right. We talk big wins (career milestones, friendships, moving cities, personal growth) and why those count even more when you did them solo — spoiler: doing things alone is way harder and you deserve credit for it. I also get practical: try five things a day, say them out loud if writing feels like homework, or whisper them to your cat (I literally do this). The goal isn’t toxic positivity but balance — notice small delights (warm coffee, a cat’s headbutt, the way light hits the trees) and use gratitude as an anti-comparison armor against Instagram’s highlight reel. I share how I sometimes do gratitude while walking, why being specific makes the practice stick, and a cheeky little glow-up challenge to do it every day this week. If you want a gentle nudge to feel less stuck and more alive, this is your permission slip to start.
Takeaways:
- I explain that a daily gratitude practice rewires your attention from what you're missing to what you've actually built and earned.
- We talk about both big wins—career growth, friendships, peaceful home—and tiny moments like warm coffee or a cat's head nudge that brighten days.
- I recommend doing short, specific gratitude lists daily—five items, spoken aloud or noted during a walk—to make the habit realistic and sticky for real life.
- We acknowledge social comparison triggers—Instagram posts and milestone announcements can hijack your mood, so try noticing small positives as they actually happen.
- I remind you that many self-improvements you achieved while single—setting boundaries, quitting bad habits, or building fitness—are huge wins worth celebrating right now.
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
What's one thing in your life that you don't appreciate enough?
Speaker A:Hi, welcome back to All About Being Single.
Speaker A:Or welcome if you're new here.
Speaker A:So I was honestly having the hardest time trying to figure out what this episode was going to be about.
Speaker A:I just have so many topics about the single life that I and the single journey essentially that I want to cover with you guys.
Speaker A:And it's just so, so, so hard figuring out what I'm going to talk about, what I'm going to talk about it.
Speaker A:And there' not enough time in the day for me to do this.
Speaker A:Honestly, I could, I wish I could probably do this like every day.
Speaker A:Sorry if you guys are hearing my cat walking in the background, but he's being extra lovey dovey today and he just wants to be right by me and he keeps.
Speaker A:He was bouncing between me and the table.
Speaker A:But anyhow, so what we're going to talk about today is a daily gratitude practice and how that can change your life.
Speaker A:I truly believe it.
Speaker A:So big picture, so much of being single, especially if most of your friends and family are partnered up or you know, you're in your 30s, especially like 35 and beyond, I just, I think, I mean, even before then, but definitely it hits even harder after that is, you know, just kind of thinking like you're behind, like you're missing out on something.
Speaker A:And again, it's not comparing yourself to society, it's just looking at like, okay, normally, you know, like, I'm kind of not running out of time to like have a kid, but like, you know, a lot of people already have kids and so you're seeing other people getting these things that you're not getting that you want.
Speaker A:Basically on any given day you might be having like a perfectly good day and like you're enjoying your coffee or doing your thing, you know, maybe getting some work done or maybe, you know, you're about to go do like a hobby thing, whatever it might be.
Speaker A:And this especially happens if you like scroll through Instagram or whatever social media you use, but I think Instagram is probably the one that I use the most and I think I see a lot of this kind of stuff on there.
Speaker A:But you know, you might see another engagement announcement or another wedding or another pregnancy announcement or just couples.
Speaker A:And it's like nothing really has changed in your life within those minutes, but maybe the way that you're looking at life and your life did by kind of seeing that stuff that's out there.
Speaker A:And I think there's just something we need to Talk about, because when you're single, it's really easy to just get caught up in everything that you don't have.
Speaker A:Like all the things you want and whether or not you believe that you deserve them.
Speaker A:Yet it's just all these things that you see other people having and that are normal to human experience basically that you just don't have.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So it could be the relationship, it could be the person travel with, the family you might want to build, the everyday companionship, the money you could be saving of somebody who's splitting a mortgage or rent with you through the person who could be helping you clean your house on a Saturday afternoon.
Speaker A:The times you want to go to an event but nobody is interested, none of your friends, and obviously you don't have a partner, et cetera, all those things.
Speaker A:And when your attention is on those things, you can completely overlook the good things that are already happening in your life.
Speaker A:So today we're going to talk about gratitude.
Speaker A:And I don't say this lightly, but like every time I've done some kind of a gratitude practice and I've done it, you know, consistently, basically I felt so much better about my life in general, but definitely especially about my single life status, because I do truly believe this.
Speaker A:It's the.
Speaker A:I don't want to say the little things, but it's the things that you do consistently that are almost like free and just are the things that are natural.
Speaker A:Well, I shouldn't say natural because gratitude, I think doing gratitude practice is not natural, but the things that basically are good for your brain, you know, so like exercise, whether it be walking or the gym or Pilates or eating healthy or drinking water or, you know, getting enough sleep, going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time.
Speaker A:And I'm going to add the gratitude list here.
Speaker A:Every time I've done those consistently, not only do I look good and then feel good, but just my life, I just.
Speaker A:It just improves my life.
Speaker A:It's very hard to like explain even, but.
Speaker A:So let's talk about intentionally noticing what we have that can actually help us feel better about being single.
Speaker A:Because sometimes the circumstances of our lives aren't the only thing affecting our happiness.
Speaker A:Sometimes it's really what we're choosing to focus on as well.
Speaker A:Obviously we can't just focus on good things if a bunch of is going wrong.
Speaker A:I'm not saying that, just saying that sometimes we don't see all the good that is also happening.
Speaker A:And that's something we can work on.
Speaker A:We cannot make somebody want to Be with us.
Speaker A:That is outside our control.
Speaker A:And all of us humans, people like to be in control, whether or not somebody actually says that they want control or not.
Speaker A:Every one of us humans, I think, is just designed to want control in our lives.
Speaker A:That's just.
Speaker A:I think it's just a normal part of.
Speaker A:Part of being a person.
Speaker A:So let's think about some positives that could be going on for you.
Speaker A:So, like the big ones, you know, maybe you've built a career that you're proud of.
Speaker A:Maybe you've developed incredible friendships.
Speaker A:Maybe you have the freedom to travel.
Speaker A:Maybe you can explore new hobbies.
Speaker A:Maybe you can even move to a different city.
Speaker A:Or maybe you can just spend your weekends however you want, or your evenings, whatever the case might be.
Speaker A:Maybe you've done a tremendous amount of personal growth.
Speaker A:Maybe you've learned how to set boundaries.
Speaker A:Maybe you've learned how to walk away from situations that aren't right for you.
Speaker A:Maybe you've built a body that you're proud of.
Speaker A:Maybe you've overcome problematic drinking or eating or doing drugs.
Speaker A:And, you know, maybe you've built a peaceful home that you absolutely love coming back to.
Speaker A:Those things count.
Speaker A:And those are obviously the big things.
Speaker A:They're still worth appreciating, even if you haven't found your person.
Speaker A:And actually, I believe that those are worth appreciating, especially if you don't have your person, because that means you did them.
Speaker A:Because that means you did them all by yourself.
Speaker A:And that's way fucking harder than doing that with the support, whether it be financial or emotional whatever, of a partner.
Speaker A:And I think that gratitude gives us a reason to pause and actually acknowledge what's good about our lives, because there always are good things about your life, even if you don't think there are.
Speaker A:So now let's talk about the small things, like the feeling of a warm cup of coffee in your hand in the morning, or a cat putting his tiny little head on your leg, or the way the trees move in unison while you're just outside and walking, or.
Speaker A:Or the smell of the candle you light up after a long day, or a good joke that you see on Instagram that makes you smile or laugh, or maybe you making somebody else laugh, or creating some cool art or creating something cool and new at work, whatever the case might be for you.
Speaker A:And I don't want us to spend years of our lives overlooking the good things happening today because we're so focused on what we hope will happen tomorrow and what we want our lives to look like.
Speaker A:However, I Do think it's a little bit hard because I think we're also naturally just drawn to things that we don't have.
Speaker A:And we're naturally just drawn to, like, negativity and even chaos.
Speaker A:I think humans are just kind of drawn to chaos, right?
Speaker A:Like, think about, like, you know, trash tv.
Speaker A:We do also have a negativity bias that I do believe that most of us have.
Speaker A:So, like, we also just notice the things that we don't have or the things that are going wrong more so than the things that are going right.
Speaker A:And we notice the things that we don't have because we want them and we deserve them.
Speaker A:And so if you want a relationship, you're gonna notice couples.
Speaker A:You're gonna notice, like, people getting engaged or your friends, you know, hitting some kind of relationship milestones, like moving in together while you're still single the last, like, 10 years, even if you're not looking out for those things.
Speaker A:I think it's just natural for us to be hurt by these things when they happen to other people and they're still not happening to us.
Speaker A:And when something matters to you, reminders of just not having it can feel particularly loud, I think.
Speaker A:And we haven't done our note to self in a while.
Speaker A:So, like, take out piece of paper, write it down or think about it or say it out loud or whatever you want to do.
Speaker A:But just think right now about something that's positive about and think about just your single life.
Speaker A:So think about something that's positive specifically because you're single.
Speaker A:That's good in your life currently.
Speaker A:And I'll take a little break to dance, because, again, you know, I love to dance daily.
Speaker A:And if you don't want to do the exercise, just dance with me if you're able to sa.
Speaker A:Hypnotize.
Speaker A:Okay, I'm back.
Speaker A:So the glow up today is just every day this week, do some kind of a gratitude list.
Speaker A:And it doesn't have to be written like, I'm a verbal processor, for example.
Speaker A:I hardly ever write things down.
Speaker A:It feels like another chore for me personally, to write things down.
Speaker A:So I just literally say them, like, out loud to my cat.
Speaker A:And it could be done in the evening or in the morning.
Speaker A:Some days I do it in the evening, some days I do it in the morning.
Speaker A:Honestly, what I like to even do a little bit more of is doing them while they're actually happening.
Speaker A:And I kind of started doing that sometimes when I'm on my walks, because now that my house remodel is almost done, I'm just waiting on a bunch of contractors to, like, finish some stuff I cannot finish who are just, like, taking weeks to respond.
Speaker A:So that's another crazy story.
Speaker A:But anyhow, I'm not doing a lot of stuff physically now anymore besides, like, tiny little things like hanging up some hooks and doing a little bit of repainting with, like, little, little spots.
Speaker A:So I've been doing more walks again, which that was probably the longest.
Speaker A:I think.
Speaker A:I really wasn't walking as much the last, like, three months.
Speaker A:And that was the longest I've gone not walking consistently in, like, about 10 years, maybe nine, 10.
Speaker A:But it might also have been more.
Speaker A:But definitely at least like nine and a half anyhow.
Speaker A:So I've been kind of noticing things a little bit more as I'm, like, literally walking, and, like, the sun's hitting me the right way, and I'm just like, oh, my God, I'm so grateful for this moment.
Speaker A:So, you know, maybe do that as well.
Speaker A:You know, instead of waiting till the morning or the evening to do the gratitude list, just do it as it's actually happening.
Speaker A:Oh, my God, you guys.
Speaker A:There's so many cats around my neighborhood that are just, like, walk by.
Speaker A:And I think some of them are just maybe feral cats, but I think some of them are also just people's cats.
Speaker A:And I think I just saw one across the street, my neighbor's house.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:Yeah, I see it again.
Speaker A:But anyhow, so, yeah, just do a little gratitude list.
Speaker A:Maybe do like, five things each day.
Speaker A:And, I mean, they can be the same thing every day or they can be different.
Speaker A:Like, I think the longer that you do a gratitude list, the more you just kind of expand out and, you know, start coming up with different things that you never even thought about being grateful for.
Speaker A:But I like to be specific about mine, too, you know, so it'll be like, I think when I start off the gratitude list, I'll be like, you know, I'm grateful for my cat.
Speaker A:That's usually one that's on my list.
Speaker A:But then the longer that I do the gratitude list, the more I, like, go into specifics, and I'm like, okay, I'm grateful for the way my cat loves to cuddle me in the evening.
Speaker A:Or I'm grateful for the way my cat plays when he wants to play.
Speaker A:Or I'm grateful for the way my cat puts a smile on my face, you know, so, like, I just become more specific the longer I go doing it and being consistent with it.
Speaker A:And these things that you're grateful for.
Speaker A:Could be tiny.
Speaker A:You know, it could be I got through a difficult day.
Speaker A:I don't know if that's tiny, but that's just an example of something you might be grateful for, you know, so you try to like turn a negative thing a positive way, basically.
Speaker A:Or I'm grateful that I got to have a dessert today.
Speaker A:Or I'm grateful that somebody complimented me.
Speaker A:Or I'm grateful that I complimented somebody.
Speaker A:I mean, there's so many different things you could be grateful for.
Speaker A:And feel free to send send any of your list over to me on any of my social media that's linked down below.
Speaker A:Or you can always just call in go to all about being single.com and there's like a little option for you to send me a voice note.
Speaker A:I would love to hear yours.
Speaker A:That's all for today.
Speaker A:If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment and share it with a friend of yours.
Speaker A:I really, really appreciate you listening to me.
Speaker A:As always.
Speaker A:Even if we're late, we're right on time.
Speaker A:Maybe you haven't started a gratitude list yet, or maybe you've done one before and you stop doing it.
Speaker A:Maybe this was your message to continue on doing it or to start one.
Speaker A:So and again, it's never too late to start.
Speaker A:People start new things every day, no matter how old they are.
Speaker A:Thank you so, so much for listening.
Speaker A:I hope you have a good rest of your day and I'll talk to you next.
Speaker A:Sam.
