Go Outside More as a Single Person | Stop Trying to Find Your Person Everywhere | Episode 55

Speaker A: 00:00:04

When was the last time you went outside just to be outside and not to look for a partner?

Hi, welcome back to All About Being Single.

Or welcome, if you're new here.

I'm Wioleta, your host.

This is a podcast where we talk about the good, the bad, and all the in between of being single.

So let's go.

Today, I want to talk about just being outside, just in nature.

Like, I don't mean just trying to find somebody to date.

I don't mean even trying to find friends.

Just being with yourself, by yourself.

Going out on walks, going out to a forest preserve, just being out in nature, a hill I'll die on is that you need to have a life that exists outside of your phone.

This thing that we're stuck to, that we're glued to, basically outside.

The dating apps especially, and most definitely outside of your own head.

I think when you're single, it can be really easy to spend a lot of time in your head, because we have more time when we're by ourselves.

I'm not saying that we have more time than other people because I think we're super busy as single people since we have to do it all by ourselves, all on our own.

But, I mean, we can be a lot more in our head because more time spent by ourselves, you know, and it might be spent thinking about dating, thinking about your future, wondering when it's going to happen, if it's going to happen, comparing yourself to your friends who are married or who have kids or who are having kids or are getting married or who maybe now are getting divorced.

And you're like, damn, I still haven't even married for the first time.

You might be at home just kind of spending two hours on your couch scrolling and just overthinking and just somehow convincing yourself that your life somehow isn't moving and it's because you're not moving.

Go outside, go outside, Go take a walk, go ride a bike, Go run.

Even better.

And I'm not even a runner.

So me saying that is crazy, crazy work.

But seriously, just walk around the block, sit on your patio, go to a forest preserve, maybe take your coffee outside, go watch the sunset, even.

So it doesn't have to be about, like, moving moving.

It could just be, you know, about seeing the beauty, the wonder of it all.

Just be a human being.

Just be outside for a little while.

I think there's something about being surrounded by trees and feeling the sun on your face and just hearing birds and watching the seasons change and especially if you are walking.

So I know I just said that you don't have to necessarily be, like, moving, but, like, I think especially when you're moving and you're seeing all of it, there's just so much beauty in all of it, and it reminds you that there's a whole world happening outside.

Nature has been around for a long time.

And I think this is especially important when you're single, because sometimes I think that, like, your relationship status can start to feel like the biggest thing happening in your life.

When it's not, it feels like a big deal.

The no like to stand then is for those people who love telling us that we need to get out there more.

And we are out there.

You know, we might be walking, we might be hiking, we might be going to coffee shops to work on stuff.

We're going to events.

We're living our lives.

And just being out there isn't always supposed to be some elaborate strategy for meeting a partner.

And it's actually better that it's not.

Like, I remember a time a few years ago when I started doing more solo dinners around my house, and it was to find a partner to find somebody.

And I remember just being so disappointed because I live in the suburbs, so it's mostly couples.

And it would just be a bunch of couples at the restaurant, bar, and then me.

And I'd be so down about it.

I'd be like, well, how am I supposed to meet somebody?

And then I remember texting my sister and telling her this, and she was like, well, maybe try to, like, just go out just to have a good time.

And I was like, well, the only reason I'm even spending money and I'm out having dinner outside instead of at home is to meet my person.

And so I think it wasn't really getting through to me at the time, but, like, now I get it.

It's like, nowadays, when I do go out to sit at a restaurant, at a bar, it's to meet people, just get to know more people, mainly single people.

I do prefer to talk to single people, but even if they're not single, it is to just talk to others, hear their story.

So what I'm trying to say is, not everything we do as singles needs to be optimized toward finding a relationship, because I think we can get stuck in that.

And then when we're not seeing the results that we're looking for, we feel worse instead of better.

You know, basically, we're allowed to enjoy our lives without turning every activity into a dating opportunity or even into an opportunity to make more friends.

It's okay to do that.

It's okay to be by ourselves.

I love spending time by myself.

So here's your note to self.

If you knew for certain that you were not going to be meeting your future partner today or anytime soon, how would you spend today anyway?

Would you go outside?

Would you still take a walk?

Would you still want to go see the sunset?

You know, it's.

It's all about the life that you're building and the life that you have currently.

Whether someone joins you tomorrow, next year, somewhere down the road, we deserve to live our lives to the fullest as it is right now.

So your glow up for this week is very ridiculously simple.

Just get outside every day, okay?

Even if it's for only 10 minutes.

You know, no podcast if you don't want it, no music if you don't want it.

No agenda, just.

But if you want to listen to something like an audiobook, obviously, feel free to do that.

But either way, just go outside.

Just take a look around you.

The sky, the trees, you know, maybe the temperature.

I'm super excited because it's now in the 70s here and I love this weather.

I hate it when it's hot.

Your life is happening right now.

And there is something.

I know this is such a silly little cliche about how, you know, if you eat healthy, it.

If you work out, exercise, and you drink water, then you're going to feel better.

And I do believe that being outside, like out in nature, is also one of those things that really helps you.

Like, I've been so busy the last few months working on my house, and I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed out and just so exhausted that I haven't been doing my walks pretty much ever.

Besides, like a couple of times a day, like a very short walk here and there.

But I haven't been doing, like, my hikes on the weekends.

And I miss it so much.

And I can tell the difference that it makes in how I feel on the daily and how I feel about my life and my future.

It just seems more bleak.

And I do truly think it's.

It's not even just the movement.

It's also just being outside.

It's being out in nature.

And I miss it so much.

I literally, you guys, I fucking daydream about the places that I frequent often when I do hikes.

And I mean, for years, like almost a decade, I. I'm outdoors so much of my day.

So the last few months, because, again, I've been so busy and overwhelmed because I haven't been able to do it.

I'm hardly ever compared to what I normally am outside and I can feel the difference.

So yeah, just go outside every day.

Even if it's 10 minutes.

Do whatever.

Again, it doesn't have to be you moving around.

I mean, for me, walking is the thing that makes me feel better in addition to the being out in nature.

But just go outside and be in nature again.

It could just be as simple as sipping your coffee outside on your front porch or your back porch, or just being outside.

Don't just look at it from a window indoors.

Go be outside.

Okay.

And as always, I want you to remember, even if we're late, we're right on time.

We got this.

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Tuesday or week, whatever, whenever you're listening to this.

If you could do me one huge favor today, please go to either Apple or Spotify and either review or rate my podcast.

I really want more people to see this podcast and be able to get something out of it, and I also hope that you got something out of it.

Again, thanks so much for listening to me and I will talk to you next Tuesday.