Breaking Up with Dating Apps: Is In Person the Better Way to Find a Partner?

Speaker A: 00:00:02

Is the old dating way, the new dating way. Welcome back, my single friend. I'm Wioleta, your host of All About Being Single. Thanks for joining today. I'm happy you're here with me. Let's start.

I'm just going to say it. Dating apps are not working out well, at least not for the majority of people that use them.

And if you're listening to this podcast, they probably have not been working out for you. Dating apps are like trying to find something that you want that's unavailable on Amazon, and you're trying to get it at the Amazon warehouse.

You have to count on somebody else to get it for you. It says it's in the warehouse, but you have to rely on somebody else to somehow be able to find it. If they tell you it's not there, you're not there.

You can't tell them, oh, no, it is right here. Or maybe double check, because they know it's there.

A lot of times, you know it's got plenty of products, but they're unavailable to you and they're invisible to you. You only see what the system actually shelves for you.

The dating app's algorithm is actually created so that the company makes more money, and the more money it makes, so the longer you're on the dating app, the better it is for them. So basically, this means that the apps decide which profiles appear in your feed. And quite often, it's the ones that nobody wants.

It's the ones that have been sitting at that warehouse for a long time. Some products might make it to the shelves. Some will just get more damaged while they're waiting, because they're waiting for a long time.

And then when you do get it from that warehouse, you might realize how useless it is. Or obviously on the positive, you might realize how amazing it is.

And you can't believe it's been waiting at the warehouse that long that nobody wanted to pick it up. And that's the other part. It's like there might be some hidden gems that you probably will never see.

But basically, scrolling through the dating apps, you're seeing the front aisle of this massive warehouse.

And it's meant for us to just keep purchasing more and more useless products instead of the one that you actually need and want because it's just not shown to you. Also, the options that you do have quite often are unavailable, emotionally unavailable.

So even if they do get to you, they might say that they're available, but really they're not. They're really not. And that part is not the dating app's fault. A lot of times you put in what you're looking for too.

It's like a bad search engine in the apps too, you put in what you're looking for. Like, I put in the times I've been on them. I'll put in like the age range I'm looking for. My age, obviously what I'm looking for as far as qualities.

And it literally gives me a bunch of profiles that do not meet those qualities at all. It's like all kinds of different things.

Like, I say I'm looking for somebody in between like 30 and 45 years old, and it'll give me somebody who's like 52. It's like, what? Like, why are we not actually giving me the things that I'm asking for?

So these apps tend to find you what you're absolutely not looking for instead of what you are looking for. And when you, like, really think about it, how many good couples have you met that actually met on a dating app?

I know a lot of people that have met their partners and who are coupled up and only one of them has met somebody on a dating app. Just the one.

But overall, again, kind of like Amazon, you're just picking up stuff that you think you need and when you get them, they don't seem to be what you wanted or what you need.

You know, they're basically costing you a lot more time and energy and confusion by having to like, quote, unquote, return the stuff that you're being given. So let me tell you about what my experience, what my personal experience with the apps has been.

When I would get on them in my 20s, because those were obviously around when I was in my 20s. And just as a reminder, I am 38, but basically when I was in my 20s, I would go on the dating apps because I was trying to usually get over somebody.

And I'm not saying this to say that I'm proud of that, but honestly, a lot of people are on them for that reason to just get over somebody. So keep that in mind as well.

But so I would go on them to get over somebody and I would be on them and maybe go on a date here or there or just talk to people, and then I would honestly just meet somebody in person. I would end up just meeting somebody in person either way, because Obviously in your 20s, you have more of a variety of things that you're doing.

You have more of a social network, you know, whether you're still in school even if you're not, maybe you're going out with Your co workers. So you're still doing a lot more social things. People haven't necessarily settled down yet. To where?

To where you still have people that you still hang out with on a regular basis. So you're able to still meet people out and about more. I shouldn't say.

Not that you're, you know, it's still possible in your 30s or any time in your life, but let's be realistic here. It's just more possible when you have more friends that are in the same stage of life as you are and who are able to go out and spend time with you.

You know, bars, at clubs, at doing whatever, you know, even activities in clubs. But so basically in my 20s, the way I used them, and they were a lot better in my 20s because I didn't have to pay as much or anything at all.

So sometimes they made the men pay more. It was a lot more fun. It was a lot more fun using them. And I do think it's. There's two reasons for that.

A, the apps used to be a lot more fun because they weren't. I mean, obviously they were for profit, but they weren't as for profit as they are today. B, again, I was in my 20s.

Like, I still had so much time left to meet somebody. And my experience in my 30s on the apps has been very different.

I. I'll talk about my experience a couple years ago when I actually did meet an ex boyfriend on them on another episode, but I'll talk about the. My latest experience with them.

At the beginning of: 2025

So I still technically have them. I do got to get rid of my accounts, but I hated going on them this year.

At the beginning of this year, they're not actually matching me with people that I'm interested in, minus a few people. They're literally matching me with things outside of what I'm looking for and what I specifically put on the dating apps.

I feel like most people aren't reading the profiles. If they are reading the profiles, the conversations just end very fast. A lot of the men that I'm meeting on there, they're just lying about stuff.

They're lying about their height.

And no, I don't care about dating Somebody who's six foot tall, but I am taller for a woman, and I need somebody who's at least the same height as me wearing when I'm wearing, like, kind of maybe not heels heels, but like a little bit of a heel. And I don't wear heels a lot, but a lot of them are lying about their height.

And then I meet them and they're not the height that they're saying they are. And if you can lie about something so small as your height, what the else are you lying about? So men stop lying about on there.

But I literally got like 20 different apps because I was like, this is my last time going on apps. And in my life, I got like 25 probably of them, all kinds of apps. So it's also crazy how many different dating apps there are now.

Like, the variety is insane compared to, you know, back in the day, even when I was in my twenties. Again, the variety of people they're showing me is just not up to par of what I'm. Of what I know I deserve.

I can barely see any of my likes on them unless I pay. And when I first got on, of course, they show you, like, a few good, great options, right?

And then if you actually start talking to those people, they either don't respond or they're probably bots, honestly, just to get people interested. But also, different apps that I do have, you can only see certain likes without paying, so you have to basically pay to see more likes.

But the likes I'm seeing already people I'm not interested in. So I'm definitely not willing to pay more to see people. More. More people that I'm not interested in.

So I went on three dates, and all of them were horrible.

And I would say that the biggest reason they were horrible is because you just cannot get a good feel of what somebody is going to be like or who somebody is on the dating apps.

And this is why I prefer meeting people in person, because every single one of them either lied or they were just like two out of the three dates the men were asking me questions, which was a total opposite of the experience I had dating a few years ago on the dating apps, because most of the men were not even asking me questions, which was insane. Just insane. So this was the opposite. So at least somebody's telling them that they have to be asking questions.

The problem was they would ask questions and then they would interrupt me as I was answering them. So, sure, they were asking questions, but they weren't actually asking them to get to know me.

It Almost seems like, again, somebody just coached them. Hey, you gotta ask questions. But they were not good listeners.

And I will not get into a relationship with somebody who doesn't listen to me because that's not a good life partner. Or obviously get with somebody who is like you and doesn't care if you interrupt back and forth and you just have a conversation that leads nowhere.

And two out of the three men were again, way shorter than what they claim to be online, which to me is again, not just a turn off. And they were like, you know, 5, 6, let's say.

But I'm 5 7, so I need somebody who's at least 5 7, probably 5 8, just so again I can at least sometimes wear some kind of a heel. But you're lying. You're lying about who you are.

And like, if you're insecure about who you are, you need to fix that first before you go on the dating apps. That is a huge red flag now.

I mean, it's always been a red flag, but I have overridden my actual instincts before, instincts before, and now I'll just not move forward with somebody who's lying to me about anything at this point. The third date out of those three, the guy's pictures were super old.

He was supposedly, I think, 30 years old, but he honestly looked like he was 45, and I do believe he was 30. He just was also just looking like he didn't age well, but his pictures were from like a long time ago, so he looked better in the pictures.

So also people update your profiles.

I'm not saying they have to be currently updated, like every month, but your picture should be at least from, you know, the last few months, not the last few years.

So it was fake advertising one on top of that, he was definitely trauma dumping calling his father a narcissist, which if you're calling your dad a narcissist, I'm of course being like, well, you're probably a narcissist yourself. You just might not see it. But on top of it. So, like, there was definitely a lot of like, weird red flags.

But at least the conversation was going well. Besides the trauma dumping, like, there was some good parts.

However, he did ask me to go out, like last, not last minute, but we were talking for a few days and then it was like a Friday night and he was like, oh, do you want to go out tonight? And normally, normally I don't say yes to somebody asking me out for that same night, but I felt like the conversation was great online.

And again, I went against my instincts, but I was like, yeah, screw it, you know, like I'm just going to be sitting at home Friday nights anyhow because usually I'm tired from the work week. So it's my week to just like pick up bad food, bad quote unquote, bad food, and just hang out by myself. So I was like, ah, screw it. Whatever.

The other part of that was he asked me to meet at this like hole in a wall bar, which I don't mind hole in the wall bars. I kind of like them sometimes.

The problem was, again, it just felt awkward for somebody to be asking you out on a first date at a hole on the wall bar. So again, two, you know, weird little flags. Not little, but so two weird flags off the bat. But I still went.

And again, the conversation wasn't horrible. He was actually listening and, you know, there was banter back and forth, but yeah, just, you know, some flags.

And then I definitely obviously was not feeling it. And after I had like left and hugged him, he like went back to the bar, which was also just strange and weird.

But then one of my friends, a few weeks after that send me a screenshot. Well, I know you're not supposed to be doing this, but she did send me a screenshot from the are we dating the same guy Group.

And literally a few women were calling him a grapist. So thankfully I wasn't drinking on that date. Which brings me to my never again, never again will I drink on a first date ever again.

And by drink I do mean drink alcohol.

I mean, I think I know socially that's kind of an acceptable thing, especially on a first date, because people are a little nervous, some people more than others. But I was not drinking on that date and I'm very thankful.

I actually didn't drink on any of these three first dates, but I would never drink alcohol on a first date ever again. I want to be very clear headed. I want to know who I'm talking to. I want to be able to get to know them while we're both sober.

Well, at least while I'm sober, because A, it's safer, B, I used to definitely drink sometimes heavily on first dates.

And then I ended up liking people a lot more than I should have because I think I just associated some feelings of euphoria and the dopamine hits from the alcohol and I just thought that person was funnier or funner than they actually were. So I definitely will not be drinking moving forward on first dates. Well, not moving forward. I have not been Drinking alcohol on first dates.

Ever since I realized that, I just want to be very clear and level headed and I want to know if I like the person for who they are or if I or if I don't. So let's get into some other reasons for why the dating apps are just not working for us. And I'm sure a lot of you can relate. So talking stage.

There's just so many options. Like the dating apps are the Amazon off dating, right? Like people are basically shopping for their partner online.

And a lot of times obviously we're just judging based on the looks too. So we're swiping right based on how somebody looks. And sometimes we don't like some people just don't look great online on pictures, right?

So we might miss somebody who is actually our type or if we were to meet them in person, we might actually be attracted to them and we'll talk about that later in the episode. Because of a plethora of other pieces of information that we get from meeting somebody in person versus meeting them online.

A lot of people don't read the actual bios on the dating apps, which is a huge problem too. Lots of people don't start conversations even though you do both match. So they're just sitting in your queue.

Basically if you do start a convo, lots of people don't even respond. Some don't even ask follow up questions on that app to keep the conversation going. So lots of conversations just kind of sizzle out.

Honestly, some just want a goddamn pen pal and never ask people out.

So they just want it to be like a talking stage, which I am assuming, and I could be wrong, but I am assuming some of those people might just be the married down there. So that's the other problem. The marrieds leave us singles alone.

How about you focus on your marriage, work your marriage out instead of hitting up the single people who are just trying to find their other single people. You know, some people are looking for that affair or an escape from that relationship that they choose to stay in.

How about you leave your relationship and then once you have left it, then you come on the dating apps. Well, better yet, fix yourself and why you keep getting into relationships and and then get on the dating apps.

But that's a conversation for another day because you know, a lot of the marrieds are so cowardly of becoming single, but those are also the same people that will tell you to be happy while you're single. God bless them. God bless them.

And a lot of the marrieds are not good partners and they know that they're going to have a horrible time trying to get back out into the single dating pool. They have slow self esteem, which is why they're not leaving their partners.

Some of the people on the dating apps will make plans but don't actually want to meet you or won't confirm. Some of them will block you when the time to meet actually happens. That actually was what happened with like my fourth date.

So I was supposed to go on a fourth date. It just never happened. Right. So everything was going well.

The conversation was great for days on end and then we were supposed to meet and then he wasn't confirming it the day of the date. And I do not give people people my phone number until after we have met. And I actually do like them.

So until after the first date for safety concerns because I've had bad previous situations happen with men being extremely upset when I turned them down. But yeah, so going back to that quote unquote fourth date that just never happened the day of the date.

I mean, I was just logging in to see if he was going to confirm it and I noticed his account wasn't even in there. So the date never happened. Sometimes people don't confirm the dates or the person just doesn't even show up.

So there's been people who do show up to the place and then the other person's not there. Some people confirm late and then the other person reschedules. There's really no like proper etiquette on this. So that's the other problem.

Like some people believe that you need to confirm at the morning of the date, otherwise they're not going to go. Some people are okay with you confirming later on in the day so that they actually do show up.

So there's just a lot of like gray areas as to what people believe. Some people ask for like the phone number and they want to get off the dating app right away, which I think sometimes can be unsafe for women.

So I personally don't recommend doing that. And some people do prefer that. Right.

Some people do want to just get off the dating app because it is hard to spend that time to keep going on the dating app instead of just maybe texting. So again, that's a personal preference. But a lot of times there's just like a lot of endless small talk and just like surface level conversations.

And a lot of times we don't know if it's going to lead to anything.

So sometimes you just feel like you're wasting your time, but you don't want to be the first one to ask them out or they don't want to maybe rush into it. And some people prefer to like get to know each other through the dating app and they want to have, you know, a couple weeks of conversations.

Some people just want to have the date sooner rather than later because they want to know what the person is actually like outside of the date. And sometimes just those two communications and styles don't really match.

But overall it kind of can lead into like spending so much time online instead of like living your life.

And you're like, it's almost like a part time job being on these apps because there's just so many options that it's just like you're constantly logging in and logging out. So sometimes it can become this literally a second part time job.

So I know in the past I've had to be like, I'm only going to get on for like 30 minutes a day and it has to be only in the morning, you know. But then some people will stop talking to you because they feel like you're not interested where. And it's like, why I haven't even met you.

I don't, you know, I don't. I'm not going to spend my whole life on this dating app. Like I'm so busy doing other things in my life. There's some people who hardly have options.

I know I've heard a lot, or at least I read a lot on Reddit how men don't have many options.

And for the men listening, if you are a guy, please reach out to me, leave me a voicemail, go to all about being single.com and there's like a little button that you can click and just let me know what your issues with dating are. Because obviously a lot of the stuff that I'm talking about pertains more to me and I'm a woman.

So it's just what I've seen on the dating apps and what my female friends have mentioned.

I feel like for me the biggest problem with the dating apps is the lack of quality options that the apps are showing me, ones that actually match what I'm looking for, not necessarily the lack of options. I think the other problem is sometimes when you text somebody something and essentially it's what you're doing on a dating app.

You know, you might get an ick from something that they say, maybe something that you wouldn't get a nick from if you were just seeing them in person or meeting somebody in person. So maybe the way that they text, you know, Some people can get a nick from people not being able to know how to spell there, there and there.

And you know, to some people that might truly be like a huge issue in a relationship.

But I would say for most of us it probably won't be because as the relationship progresses, you're doing a lot less texting and actually talking in person. You know, some have zero interest of actually meeting up with you. And it might not be because they're married or in a relationship.

It's because they are just looking for validation because they have low self esteem.

So many people think they have so many options because there's so many options on the dating apps when in reality most of those people you're not going to be compatible with.

And I think that's the huge difference between meeting people in real life and how we used to do dating is, you know, most of us had to meet somebody someplace where we were physically and we couldn't be in so many places at once. And with the dating apps you just have this plethora of options. It's also easy to discard people because you haven't met them in person.

Like, you don't actually have to say anything to them in person, you know, so kind of like the online bullies, people that you know will judge and just be mean to other people. You can also just discard somebod. Like you don't feel bad about ghosting somebody or at least you feel less bad about it.

You know, so I think it's easier for people to ghost or for people to just not show up to a date. There's less social repercussions too, because you don't know these people, don't know your friends or family or somebody that you know.

So there's less social repercussions. You know, some people say that some of the apps are more for hookups. Some people say that all the apps are really just for hookups.

So I think you do have more of a chance of meeting people who are just interested in a hookup.

If you meet somebody on a dating app and then you get into a fight with them, I think it's easier for someone to get back on a dating app and, you know, try to again look at all those quote unquote options that they have. So I think that can make people insecure once they're actually dating somebody from the dating apps.

Sometimes, and this has happened to me, sometimes people can swipe left instead of swiping right because again, you have so many options and you're sometimes Just going about it so fast that maybe you'll miss out on somebody you were interested in because you messed up.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but a lot of the apps you can go back unless you have a paid account, which again, for me, like, I didn't find the need to do that. Or you can possibly swipe right instead of swiping left so, you know, could go, and you really didn't mean to.

So maybe somebody gets excited that you're interested in them and you're really actually not. But again, I just think there's too much of an easy access to others via these apps. You know, in person you actually have to make more of an effort.

You have to go out for women. Sometimes you might feel like you have to put makeup on. You don't actually have to, but obviously we sometimes feel like we want to.

You actually have to smile at strangers. You actually have to start a conversation or say hello.

And it's just so much easier to do that when you're hiding behind a screen than having to put forth that effort in real life. You know, sometimes it's also unsafe being on the apps because people can find out where you live and stalk you. People can catfish you.

Again, there's a lot of bots on there. If you've been on the dating apps for a while, you see people that you've seen on there before.

And I'm not saying this is right, but some of us feel like, well, why is this person back on the dating apps?

Even though we're also back on the dating apps and they might be seeing our profile and saying the same thing, oh, I saw this person, you know, 10 years ago and again, we don't know what the situation is.

Like maybe they just got out of a 10 year long relationship or maybe they got divorced or maybe they have been on there the entire time because they're again, the apps haven't shown them the right type of people, so they're just unlucky. There's a plethora of reasons why they might be back on there, why you might be seeing them on there again.

But again, sometimes we might erroneously just think that, hey, well, they're not really a good pick because they're back on there and they might be thinking the same thing about us.

I think the other problem with apps is you just spend so much time cultivating this online Persona instead of like living your life instead of going out and trying to meet people in real life.

For some of us it's, and I would say Honestly, for probably most of us, it's hard to show who we truly are on a dating app because it's just online, right?

So, and there's only a specific amount of room for us to showcase who we are, you know, so it's hard to show off our humor, our in person energy, you know, our voice that people can be attracted to our actual looks because some of us don't photograph well.

Our smell and the pheromones, you know, our speaking style, our emotional maturity, our integrity, our financial stability, our accents, you know, so any kind of uniqueness about us, you know, we can't explain our complex humanness via just a dating app profile. So it's so hard for us to find out who somebody is via seeing that profile.

Some people just simply only care about the looks of a person and don't read, you know, for possible deal breakers that somebody might put on their dating app. People can just lie easier online too. Some of us might be punished for being older, right? Like I'm 38 and I feel like I'm seeing few.

I mean, I'm still seeing a ton of matches, honestly, but I still feel like the matches that I was receiving before were better and I feel like they're not. The apps aren't showing me people who are just overall in their 30s who I might match with.

They're only showing me again, the 50 year olds that I'm absolutely not interested in. And yes, that is me also punishing the other older people.

But I think that it just kind of shows how again, people are being punished for being older. Like in person I might meet somebody who's 32 and we might both have an interest in each other and we are both in our 30s, so I think it's fair game.

But on the dating apps, they're probably not going to show me that 32 year old. I think the other problem too is people will tell you, oh, you need to like do a better job creating your online profile for these dating apps.

And I honestly kind of believe that's bullshit because again, most people aren't reading these profiles. Most people are just looking at the pictures and no matter what you put on there, it's still not going to showcase your full personality.

Like I remember reading about how for women, because it does seem like a lot of single women travel more and how we shouldn't put out a bunch of like traveling pictures because that's not our daily life. And I believe that for a little bit. And so I wouldn't put out pictures of me traveling But I do travel more than like the average person that I know.

And that is something that I want to continue on doing with a partner and sometimes without them. And so to me, that is important. And I want to put out those traveling pictures because that is truly who I am.

Here's the hill I'll die on is most of the people that are on the dating apps are having a hard time finding people in real life. And sometimes it is because they're the avoidance of this world, sometimes it is because they just don't have great social skills.

And I have been there before, so I'm not trying to talk shit. But again, a hill I'll die on is a lot of these people cannot form relationships in real life, which is why they have to go to the dating apps.

And that can lead to them being codependent with you once you do get into a relationship with them, because they just don't have these social skills of meeting people in person. And I know there's exceptions also, right? I know of people who have been on the dating apps who are great people and they have found people.

But I do also believe that a lot of them just are the avoidance, the people that actually don't make great partners. And that's why they're on the dating apps, because they haven't worked on themselves.

And to answer this episode's earlier question, I do believe the new way of dating is the old way of dating. We are doing a 180.

We are going back to needing more third party spaces where people can meet in real life because that is a better way to meet people. The dating apps have become garbage. They're too expensive, both financially and time wise.

And I believe that, you know, they cause people more trauma and more rejection and unnecessary hurt than they need to than dating needs to than dating should ever. And yes, I'm using the word should, even though you should never use the goddamn word should, which I always find interesting.

People will be like, you know, you shouldn't use the word should. But yeah, apps are too expensive.

You know, they're just these cheap dopamine hits that get you addicted to swiping and getting that intermittent reinforcement. Just there's too little positive return for what you have to put in them.

A lot of times they make us feel like we're doing something wrong when someone and usually a lot of people on these dating apps stop responding and the whole convo is a waste of time and energy. They're wrecking our confidence after doing these apps for a while.

So especially if you're on them for like months or years, it's really easy to get down on yourself because you're just like, there's all these options, quote unquote. But like, you're not meeting anybody of value. Like you're, again, you're thinking you're doing something wrong. Like you, it can be easy to lose hope.

Like you start feeling like you're asking for too much and like you have to lower your standards to meet somebody good for you. It just becomes depressing and frustrating to see so many options and none of them be your person.

So, yeah, I will say again, there is a huge need for these third party spaces and a lot of them are popping up all over, like running clubs, walking clubs, pickleball, dating events, speed dating mixers, you know, joining more hobbies. Like there is such a need for those. And I think people are again starting to do more of those again because the apps just, they're just not working.

They're not working well for most people on them.

So until if the apps start working for us and they're not blocking us or they're not relationship blocking us, which is the thing they're supposed to be helping with, but they're not, they're blocking us. So until they're not doing that, third party spaces is really where we need to focus our attention on.

And for those of us who maybe need to work on more social skills and being able to flirt. And I know I need to work a little bit more on that. So there's times when I work on that and there's times when I don't.

But anyhow, if there's anything you'd like to add, if you have experiences with the dating apps, whether negative or positive, honestly, I'd love to also hear some positives about the dating apps and how maybe, maybe you run around in circles where more people have met others via dating apps. But I would really love to hear some stories so that we can post them on one of the next few episodes.

So please go to all about being single.com and leave me a voice memoir or go email me at all about being singlemail.com send me your stories. Let me know how the dating apps have been for you.

So either horror stories about the dates that you've been on through the dating apps or some positive stories. And if you're enjoying this episode, please share with a friend.

I would love to continue on doing this and your support means a lot to me and thank you for listening. But if you know anybody else you think this information might help. Please share it with them. Let's make this a community. I appreciate you being here.

It means a lot to me. Okay, this is my note to self. So think about this. Jot it down, whatever works for you.

But what in real life experience have you been wanting to maybe do or try out?

So think of, you know, the rock climbing class or a dancing salsa lesson that you could do this month that might lead you to forming more connections, whether it be platonic or romantic, and forming more of a community for yourself. I'm gonna go ahead and start dancing. We'll see if trouble my cat wants to join me. If he doesn't, I'll dance by myself.

But while you're thinking of that either, feel free to join in. I do strongly believe that you should dance every day. It's such a great mood booster and it makes you feel good.

So if you're not driving, I mean, I guess even if you're driving, kind of bump to it a little bit. But you know, I'm not saying drop what you're doing, but if you want to dance with us, please do so real.

Okay, so as far as the note to self, I have been tired of not having enough single friends and I've been tired of not putting myself out there enough to be in the community. So I'm actually starting a walking club just for singles. Because that's the other thing. I think there's not enough things to do just for singles.

Like there's a lot of things to do for couples. And I think we need more communities where there's things to do for singles.

So I am starting club Single and Social out in Naperville, Illinois by where I live. I'm gonna start off with doing a walking club. Sundays every week at 9:30, downtown Naperville, and then Tuesdays at 6:00pm, also downtown Naperville.

And it's not just for romantic connections.

This is also just if you're interested in finding more friends, because I know that's what I'm also interested in, just finding more single friends as well. And I love walking. It's one of my favorite activities. So I'll see you there. Okay.

The no lie to stand on the married who don't understand the fact that dating apps have changed a lot since the pandemic. And it's not just about making money for the corporations either.

I think a lot of people, even if they found somebody on a dating app, it was before the pandemic. Stop thinking that just because it was easy. Easy for you. It'll be easy for us now. It's a different playing field now.

It's a different era of these dating apps, an era most of us don't even want to be a part of, and we just want to skip through. Honestly, a lot of the marrieds will be like, oh, it's so fun to be on the dating apps.

And it's like, well, it's not fun for me when people that I message on there don't respond to me.

It's not that exciting to see what's out there because they'll end up probably ghosting me or not showing up to a date anyhow, or look totally different than what the pictures seem like.

Like, let me put you in an enclosure at a zoo with the most unpredictable and wild of these animals, and we'll see how you feel when they ask you for a selfie without even asking you how you are. Like, let's see how much you Enjoy putting in 10 hours each week without getting paid and without getting matches that you're actually interested in.

So not getting the payoff of even, like, fun dates, because dating should be fun. And you put makeup on and you put on a good outfit and you.

You go out to meet this person and they forgot to tell you that they have their child's birthday party that day. Mind you, never once they mentioned they even have children. They said they don't have children.

And don't get me started on those friends and family who ask you how dating is going.

If it was going well, I'd be in a relationship and I'd be telling you, I don't ask you how your marriage is going when I see you, because I know you don't want to talk about that elephant in the room. So respect my elephant. Okay? My favorite part is the glow up. So what I highly recommend is not going on your phone in the morning.

So at least if you can spend maybe 15 minutes just not going on your phone. I know some of us use our phones for, like, an alarm, so feel free to turn off the alarm.

But then put your phone aside and just don't even look at it for at least 15 minutes and see if you can kind of work up, you know, to more, maybe like an hour.

It's just nice to begin your day with your own thoughts and feelings and not thinking about other people, not seeing other people, really focusing on your own experience.

Let me know if you were able to do this and how it helped you this week by emailing me@allaboutbeingsinglemail.com I'd love to hear how that's helped you, or if it's helped you, or feel free to send me a voice memo@allaboutbeingsingle.com thanks for listening. It truly means so much to me. Me. I hope to see you next week. I want you to remember that even if we're late, we're right on time.

This is where we're supposed to be in life. I look forward to hearing your voice notes, your voice memos, your thoughts, your suggestions.

Honestly, if you have any suggestions for me in this podcast, let me know. Let me know. If you want to hear more or less of something, let me know how I can improve this podcast.

Because I am doing this both for myself, but I'm also doing this for you. Talk to you next Tuesday.